Hello people! It’s Sunday again and wouldn’t it be nice to be honest today? I’ve looked back for the past week and I can say that life’s really not always sunshine.
I’ve been so low for the past days, me and my husband had some misunderstandings and I hope I could be a better, more patient mom.
Believe me when I say life is really hard. And whatever we do to keep us on our feet, there are really times that we’ll be miserable.
Okay, sorry folks. I know that Sunday Highlights is supposed to be a post for the week’s “highlights”, joys and happiness. Believe me, this is.
Alright, I’ll be very honest that I am all eaten up by jealousy and guilt.
I am jealous of people who have a better life than me, who have it all!
I am jealous of those moms who stays at home but have more than enough.
I am jealous of those who can spend a LOT of time traveling and spending money on things that they love. I am jealous of those people who live comfortably, who blog so well, who has a beautiful blog and a rich message to share. I am jealous of people who aren’t like me.
Recently, I planned to buy a laptop and/or a new phone. Well, technically, both are pre-loved. I wanted to have them both if the owners would agree that I pay them installment. I’d like to use them to create a better blog and to try if I can live as a WAHM (work at home mom) But…life won’t always go with how we want it to be.
Then, just tonight while I am writing this blog, I asked myself, “Do I deserve such foolish thinking?”
I know I don’t have it all, but I have my boys who are so adorable and healthy and happy. I know I don’t blog really well and I can’t post beautiful pictures, because I don’t have a good camera, I don’t have any background in creative writing and photography, but are these all big deals? I guess and I hope they’re not.
I really want to stay at home, stay with the kids, cook them delicious meals, clean the house, finish the laundry, wash the dishes, send the boys to bed, then grab a book, have a cup of coffee and wait for my husband to arrive from work.
BUT THIS ISN’T MY LIFE.
But I know this is what God wants me to have, wants me to be. His plans aren’t clear to me, but I trust Him.
Who else can be a mom to my kids? Who else can be his wife? I know that anyone can replace me at work, but who else can be me?
Would I trade those genuine smiles, lovely laughters, sweet kisses, cuddles and giggles from my ever cute boys?
Would I trade how my husband loves me even after becoming fat after giving birth? Who still loves me even during my off I can’t even brush my teeth or take a shower? My husband who after being nagged and blamed for the mess in the house, would still kiss and pray with me before I sleep?
No. I won’t trade this life even it means I can go back to college and finish Marketing. Even if it can give me a better job or a chance to travel the world, or even if could make my parents a little prouder of me.
This stage in my life is the sweetest and will always be.
This stage in my life has changed the stubborn, hard-headed “grace” in me and replaced it with a stronger, braver, courageous, prayerful and loving “Mommy Grace”.
I will always be grateful that once I’ve been in a crooked road, chose a crooked path and made crooked decisions. Because now, I am made aware that still…
All things work together for good to those who are called according to purpose. 🙂
For those who knew me well. You might even laugh at this post or have you saying “yan kasi…”
Yes, I know who I am now is a result of who I was before.
And I’d honestly say that I don’t regret everything that had happened.
THIS IS ME, I AM EXACTLY WHERE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE.
Thank You, my ever-loving God for this wonderful life 😉
How’s weekend ending dear?